my operation

I'm experiencing a deprivation that's extremely hard to bear. I am unable to carry Joachim in any way - in my arms, on my lap, standing up or sitting down. I can't even lean down and help him walk, correct his balance or shield him when he over-corrects himself. There's a very good reason for this, i know. It's just that I feel like he's going to outgrow me - that he'll get used to not going to me for anything or that he'll stop trying to get me to carry him.

My side is still so painful from the operation to remove the stones from my kidney. It's been 6 days and i'm still in pain. It's not getting better, mostly because of the tube that's sticking out of my side. It runs from my right kidney to a urinary leg bag, attached to my right thigh. Tabby says I remind him of Lara Croft because of the way it's attached. I just laugh and tell him that he should be so lucky. :-)

To make things light, I tell him that he's probably the only man in the world with a wife that can pee standing up without getting messy.  hehe It works for a time, then we're brought back to reality by my needing his help to get up. I can't go from a lying/reclining position to a sitting position without a great deal of pain. I have a high tolerance for pain, so he knows that it's pretty bad when I can't help but make little sounds of pain (because I'm stifling the groan). Moving from sitting to standing up (and vice versa) is relatively easier. It's painful, but tolerable. Walking is a chore. But the longer I am upright, the easier it is. Stairs are best taken slowly and with great care, whether going up or down.

It's discouraging to know that Joachim prefers the yaya over me or Tabby. But then again, I think that he has no choice, really. I'm not carrying him and neither is Tabby, really, since he's busy taking care of me.

It's cold comfort knowing that I made the right decision by postponing this surgery til Joachim was older. If he were younger, it would be intolerable and definitely not something we would want. I would not have been able to continue breastfeeding him if I had done this earlier. 

Today, though, he still took comfort from me... I'm so grateful that he still wanted me! Ü he got stranger anxiety because a friend of ours visited after a long period of absence and she was so excited to see him that he got scared - a woman, unknown to him, was laughing and cooing and approaching him!  so he started crying... poor baby... he was clinging to tabby and then after a while, when his crying subsided, since he wasn't lifting his face from tabby's shirt, i got him by sliding him onto my lap and was able to hold him properly for the first time in weeks!  it felt heavenly!! and he seemed to take comfort from me because he stopped crying totally and was calming down.  he consented to look at our friend (who had sat down again) and even said hi to her! Ü he's such a darling, darling boy! Ü

Halloween 2009

Trick or treating at san lorenzo village - micael, gabriel, rafael, joachim, ava and riley were joined by bechay and itos Ü after walking down three of the longest streets in sanlo, they decide that they want to play pa in the park! haha the adults were tired, thirsty and a little frazzled (trying to herd all the kids is hard work!), but they were so cute on the slides and jungle gym that we just had to stop Ü

hours...

i remember crying and feeling like a terrible mother when micael was about 2 years old and the twins were about 1 year old because they seemed to want the yayas more.  in fact, i couldn't put them to sleep - they refused! they associated me with play and so when i was around, no matter what time it was, it was play time... in the end, my yayas would gently ask me to leave the room so that they can put the boys to sleep because they were getting cranky from being super sleepy! 

i remember my brother-in-law, joey, consoling me by telling me that no matter what, i will always be their mother! yayas come and go, but mothers will always be there!  and it made me feel better...

i've been thinking about how different joachim is from his brothers (at this age - 13months) - in terms of how he responds to me... he wants me more than he wants any of the yayas (his or his brothers').  he prefers that i carry him and that i'm the one that puts him to sleep... either me or tabby.  i think it's because he sleeps with us until now, whereas mica was moved into his own room at 4 months and the twins were moved out at maybe 3 or 4 months as well...  it was necessary to move them out so early because i was working in a call center then and my hours were erratic, so to make things easier for the boys, we put them in another room.

now, i work for my mom, so things are more relaxed (work-wise)... i've been on maternity leave for about a year now, although i still don't report for work in the office, my mom has me do stuff at home na lang.

i'm amazed that it makes such a difference in the attitudes of the kids that i'm around.  they take it for granted that i'll be home and that i'm available to them at any time.  i love it!  i realize that i wasn't like this before - i would be around, obviously, but not with the same consistency and in the sheer quantity of hours that i'm around now! 

it's a blessing that i have this and i'm thankful everyday for it!  i don't know how the boys will react to when i have to go back to the office everyday, but i think that they'll be ok... i'm just glad that i'm getting to lay this foundation for joachim and that i have this time "on deposit" for mica, gabe and rafa Ü

Joachim at 12 months =)

Joachim's first steps!! =)

Joachim Kalbo =)

Done August 5 at the Kids' Hair Salon in Rustans =) He didn't cry! I'm so amazed at him! i think it's because his 3 older brothers were all there, keeping him entertained and distracting him so he wouldn't cry... when he started fussing, all of them came over and immediately tried to make him smile or look at them or something! it was a sight to see! =) i love how they love him! he's always referred to (by the boys ha!) as "my baby" not "my baby brother"! =)

going to the park

the other day, tabby and i were at the dining table having breakfast and the boys were asking if they could go to the park. it was about 9am.

mica:  mom, dad, can we go to the park, please?
me:  sure, you can go... tab?
mica:  (to tabby) aw... please, papa?!
tab:  maybe not, love, because you have to get ready to go to rockwell for your tennis lessons by 10.30...
mica:  but mom! dad! we have to go to see the girls!
me:  what?!  no!  no park!  (notice my instinctive reaction! haha)
gabe:  (hitting mica's leg)  no mom! friends! we're going to see our friends!!
mica:  (looking anywhere but me) um... oops!
tab:  (laughing)  sige, go na! go to the park!  (notice tabby's instinctive reaction!  how different!!)

hay naku! tabby talaga!  =)

Two Seasons, Boracay April 2-5, 2009

we went to bora for mikho's birthday and we stayed at two seasons botique resort and it was beautiful!! the room we stayed in had 2 huge beds, a living/dining room, a huuge bathroom and a separate bedroom with a queen sized bed. the balcony was accessed through the separate room. beautifully appointed, we had a wonderful time! the pool was the perfect depth for the kids =) they enjoyed themselved silly in the pool! it was joachim's first time in boracay. sarap! =)

Joachim in March (7th month)

Sun Angel Malunggay Tea

I found this on the website of Sun Angel Malunggay Herb Tea here on Multiply  (read the original post here).  I wanted to highlight, in particular, the text in orange.  It's something i really wanted to do when i gave birth to joachim last august in makati med.  but... the doctors and nurses didn't do it, despite reading my Birth Plan and verbally agreeing to it.  they did their usual thing of taking him and cleaning him up, etc., etc. then presented him to me for kiss-kiss and picture taking then brought him to the nursery.  i feel that they should have followed what i wanted to happen - it wasn't going to take too much time, anyway.  and i don't think that it would have harmed anyone if they had put joachim on my tummy (supported him) and then allowed him to nurse right away.

after being discharged and settling in at home, i saw pictures of joachim in the nursery (as i was in the recovery room, so this is at about an hour after being born) and because my mom and tabby were taking sequential shots, you could see joachim opening and closing his mouth.  it seemed like he was looking for me and wanted to nurse.  i felt so bad because i could have started giving him colostrum already.  instead, he was alone in his bassinet in the noisy nursery of makati med.  >sigh<

anyway, here's the post =) 

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The mother's 'breast friend' that comes in a tea bag

  During the recent World Breastfeeding Week in August, Filipino moms and moms-to-be were presented with staggering statistics and realities about breastfeeding.      

The most impactful message however was from recent studies that proved that first hour breastfeeding can mean life or death to a newborn, possibly saving more than a million babies worldwide if properly initiated. 

A  recent study published in Pediatrics in 2006 further showed that when infants are placed skin-to-skin on their mother’s abdomen and chest immediately after birth, they exhibit remarkable capabilities. They are alert, they can crawl, stimulated by mother’s gentle touch, across her abdomen, reaching her breast. This first gentle touch of a baby’s hand or head at the breast stimulates the release of maternal oxytocin, thus beginning both the flow of milk and enhancing the feelings of love for the baby. Then the baby smells, mouths and licks the mother’s nipple. Finally, he or she attaches to the breast and feeds. This sequence of events is important for the survival of newborn babies. 

The study also noted the following: (worldbreastfeeding.org)

*  That babies who do not start breastfeeding until after 24 hours of age are 2.5 times more likely to die than babies who started within the first hour of life, whether they were partially or exclusively breastfed.

* That 30% of babies in the study who were fed solids or other milk before one month of age were four times more likely to die than babies who were exclusively breastfed

* That 16% of newborn deaths could be prevented if newborns were breastfed exclusively from day one

* 22% of newborn deaths could be prevented if newborns initiated breastfeeding within one hour of birth.

'BAGGING' THE MIRACLE PLANT

In the Philippines, breastfeeding advocates join hands to promote breastfeeding,  creating awareness among mothers, pregnant women and other concerned agencies. In fact, breastfeeding stations have been opened in various malls even as the Philippines bagged the first Guinness World Record on Simultaneous Breastfeeding in Multiple Sites when 20,000 mothers in more than 400 sites were initiated to let Filipino mothers realize the all-important role of breastfeeding in the family and society.  

It is thus very important that mothers keep their breast milk both healthy and plenty.  

This is what inspired Imee Garcia, a mother of one and a staunch breastfeeding advocate, when she thought of helping nursing moms produce more milk through a most convenient way. 

 “I was having trouble while trying to breastfeed my first child, and my mom and other older relatives would always suggest to try boiling malunggay and take it as a soup. But I found that its taste was really bitter,'' Garcia recounts. 

For generations now, the malunggay vegetable has been relied upon by lactating moms to help them in breasteeding. Its high calcium content helps mothers produce more milk for infants.

Dr. Lydia M. Marero of the Food and Nutrition Research Institute (FNRI) in her article ''Malunggay is Miracle Vegetable'' wrote that ''malunggay is one of the world's most useful plants.  It is used as food, effective flocculant or water treatment, antibiotic, source of oil, and coagulant for turbid waters.''

Loaded with nutrients. each ounce of malunggay contains seven times the Vitamin C found in oranges, four times the Vitamin A of carrots, three times the iron of spinach, four times as much calcium from milk and three times the potassium of bananas.

It is also called mother's best friend, and miracle vegetable by many who know malunggay's beneficial uses. Traditionally in the Philippines, lactating mothers are advised to eat malunggay incorporated in soups such as chicken tinola, mongo or halaan (clam) soup. But the nutrients malunggay offers are far from being maximized this way.

  Garcia and her mom also know all the benefits of malunggay too well. 

''But I also know that there is a better, more convenient and more pleasant way of taking malunggay everyday,'' she says. Like many modern mothers,  Garcia goes to work and her busy schedule does not allow her to always ingest the nutrients of malunggay through soups everyday.

Yet,  they won't do it the shortcut way, knowing how beneficial the nutrients of malunggay are. “We know that's why we did it the hard and slow way because we wanted to preserve all the goodness and the nutrients that the vegetable has to offer. No additives, caffeine and other preservatives were added in our tea,” she assures. 

Their determination has paid off, slowly but surely succeeding in ''tea bagging'' malunggay and all its goodness as she came up with Sun Angel Malunggay Herbal Tea, an instant yet effective response to busy breastfeeding women.  With the seal of the Bureau of Food and Drug (BFAD), this malunggay tea can be taken anytime and anywhere, precisely how Imee envisioned it to be.

''I know this will be most appreciated by mothers like me. But what is more important is that more and more women will be convinced that breastfeeding can now be more convenient, on top of the many benefits it gives our babies. There is no more excuse not to breastfeed - that we have no milk or that we are busy. We are gifted with technology to make things easier for all of us and we are making the most out of it, with our babies taking all the benefits,'' Garcia says.

(Sun Angel Malunggay Herb Tea is in Mercury Drug Stores. For inquiries call 776 3895 or 787 047, or check their site at malunggayherbtea.multiply.com and email malunggayherbtea@gmail.com.)

 

“My Milk Is All My Baby Needs” -Sherrie Mae Siy Ong

From Planet Noah's site (read the original post here).  It's a very inspiring read and one that I agree with wholeheartedly! There are so many things that go against breastfeeding and I sometimes feel like i'm fighting an uphill battle. It shouldn't be something that I should apologize for.  And then there's the (non-)support that I get from certain people who pay lip service to "yes, it's best for your baby. but nanny... it has been more than 7 months now.  don't you think it's time to stop?  pwede na, you already gave him lots of milk!  you can now give him formula."   who said that there's a time limit on this?  i'm so happy that i've lasted this long!  imagine, he's still fully breastfed at 7 months and 3 weeks?!  who would have thought?!  be inspired by her article, people... i know i am!  

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I'd like to share my friend Sherrie's inspiring piece on her breastfeeding experience. It's one of the entries that were chosen and posted in the lobby of Cardinal Santos Hospital as part of their celebration of Breastfeeding Month. I hope it will encourage more mothers to breastfeed despite the odds.

When a mom gives formula to her baby, no one gives it a second thought, but when a mom breastfeeds her baby, a slew of questions will immediately come her way: “How can you go back to work?”, “Why do you make it hard for yourself?”,°°“Why don’t you supplement with formula?”. And of course, that most often asked question which would strike at the hearts of even the most self-assured of nursing moms, “Do you have enough milk? Baka walang nasususo iyan.”

As all breastfeeding mothers know, the 2 most important truths in nursing are:°°1.All mothers have sufficient milk for their babies. 2. Breastfeeding works by supply and demand and the more we let our babies suckle, the more milk we produce.

Confident that I knew my basics, I got down to the actual business of breastfeeding which to my dismay, was even more demanding than being pregnant!°°

The first few times I experienced milk letdown, I felt a peculiar sensation of weakening°°as if the nutrients were being leached from my body. I persisted to discover still more things the breastfeeding books never mentioned (probably so as not to scare new mums!): sleepless nights especially the first couple of nights when I was desperate for sleep but could only nap for 15-30 minutes before my newborn would cry out again to be fed or cuddled.°°
 
And while the books did mention that breastfeeding would be every 2-3 hours, the reality is that in between burping, changing diapers, washing breastpumps, bathing baby, rocking baby, there is hardly time to do anything else besides breastfeeding. Forget about cooking or other household chores. Many times, I didn’t even have time to eat or take a shower!

I coped by multi-tasking. Checking my email while breastfeeding, bringing my son with me everywhere even to work°°(which is a major production entailing bringing a lot of baby gear heavier than baby himself) and pumping milk while working. In fact, pumping milk anywhere I could: at the back of a bus, in washrooms, in backrooms of exhibition halls. I even pumped while driving.

Even with all of this effort, people started to comment that my son was thin.°°While I knew that breastfed babies are normally leaner than formula-fed babies, I couldn’t help but worry myself.°°I went to a lactation consultant who commented, “Anong payat?”. He was healthy and thriving and that’s what matters, she said.

So here was another irony. It takes more effort to breastfeed, but the result is a leaner baby whereas if a mom formula feeds, she can just hand over the job to the yaya and people will look at the chubbier formula fed baby and nod in approval.

And then of course, there is work and the rest of your life.  In theory, pumping milk while being away from baby will maintain your milk supply, but as I discovered when I went on a 5 day business trip to Hongkong and a 3 day marriage retreat, not hearing baby’s cries made it so tempting to skip pumping sessions. In fact, even if baby just spent the day or night over at his grandparents’, out of fatigue, I would not pump according to schedule (which of course reduced my milk supply and I would have to relactate.)

So one thing I learned is that you can’t hurry nature along. The more you let your child suckle from you directly, the more milk you will produce for him. 

Why do I breastfeed despite all these challenges?  It is simply the best gift I can give my children.°°The gift of health. The gift of my time. There is°°no shortcut to breastfeeding, and while that is its biggest drawback, it is also its greatest virtue. Breastfeeding encouraged me to spend time with my babies and to slow down the pace of life from the hectic urban jungle to the natural rhythm of eating, sleeping and playing with baby. And isn’t that a more meaningful way of spending one’s time?

I must mention though that a good support system is critical in our breastfeeding journey. I was blessed to find support in family who assisted me in taking care of my son and in friends who shared their breastfeeding experiences with me. My friend Judy even lent me her breast pumps and would answer my breastfeeding questions even at 2 o clock in the morning.

Although breastfeeding asks of us a great deal of our time and patience, we must remember that this time to breastfeed our children will never come again. Never again will they turn to us for their complete physical and emotional nourishment. When I see my baby growing bigger each day, it is with a sense of awe knowing that my milk is all he needs to grow.

Breastfeeding may be tiring, monotonous, time consuming, but through it, I have experienced motherhood to its fullest. It has allowed me to be the best mom I can be by giving the best milk I can to my children.
 
Note: The writer breastfed her firstborn exclusively for 8 months until she got pregnant again. She is now breastfeeding her second born and has more realistic expectations of breastfeeding and resolves to minimize separations from her baby until he is weaned =).

Judy: I've posted this article on other mommy group sites with Sherrie's permission and have been getting overwhelming responses from like-minded moms. we love reading your breastfeeding stories and anecdotes =)

here are other readers' comments:
http://breastfeedingmums.multiply.com/journal/item/79
http://breastfeeding.multiply.com/journal/item/27
http://mommysrus.multiply.com/journal/item/211
http://workingmoms.multiply.com/journal/item/34/34

Baby Flea Market

Exactly what we all need and want!  =)  Check out the online Baby Flea Market run by Babysmiths.  Awesome idea! =)







Do you have lots of baby stuff just gathering dust in storage?
Don’t you wish you could turn them into cash or just donate them to someone who really needs them?
Are you a practical parent who loves to find great bargains?

Welcome to Baby Flea Market! The first local online used baby goods market powered by Babysmiths.

For more details pls go to: http://babysmiths.multiply.com/journal/item/3

A tooth, a tooth!

Joachim has a tooth!! I felt it's sharp edge when he was gumming my knuckle earlier this afternoon... No wonder he's been biting and drooling like there's no tomorrow!  >sigh< my baby's growing up!    

Tagaytay Feb 28 - March 1

We went up with Nikka, Paul and Ty for Nana and Bryan's wedding at Taal Vista Hotel. On Sunday, we had lunch at Geraldine's in Highland and then to the Animal Farm. =) Fun!

The boys in February =)

Joachim turned 6 months old! Time flies by so fast... It seems like i just brought him home! And now, i look at him and see how he smiles and engages me... he's learning to crawl now. i think he's teething, too, because he's got lots of laway! he's my little laway boy =) and he super loves his brothers! the boys are so kilig when joachim smiles at them...

Joachim in January...

Eli's First Birthday Party Photo Souvenirs

Blow Up Babies set up a photo booth and it was such a big hit! here are some pictures from it. nice, no?! =)

on being a kuya

i almost cried while watching this...  sometimes i wonder if that's how my boys feel toward each other.  and i try to compensate for it by having special time with each one.  but sometimes, it's not possible to have one-on-one time, so... i just hope that my boys know that they are all so special to me and that i love each of them so much for such a variety of reasons. i would not be able to adequately express my love for them - it's so huge!
 

first love

this has got to be the cutest thing i've seen in a looong time! =)  enjoy! =)

laughing ty =)

we were in glorietta and tabby was making ty laugh... he's such a cutie!! =)

old pictures of the boys

these are pictures of the boys from the time they were a few months old to about 2 or 3 years old (2004 - 2006). only the last 4 pictures were taken at home (by my cousin). the other pictures were taken by Picture Company in Rockwell =) joachim really looks like his brothers!

Mica, Gabe and Rafa's birthday party 2009

we celebrated at the cogons in polo on a beautiful, warm (not hot), sunny day! the kids had a blast swimming in the 3 kiddie pools. those that didn't swim played in the playroom and the playground that was close by. the cakes were gorgeous and the cupcakes to die for! =) several kids kept going back for cupcakes and no matter how often i rearranged the cupcakes, there was always a few spots empty and some kid had either yellow or blue lips =) i'm so glad it's over! haha but the point is the kids had fun! =)

way back when...

this is a video of the boys back in 2006!! mica was 3 and the twins 2 years old! oh my goodness!!! they are soo cute! =) it was taken by my cousin when she was visiting the philippines. i'm so amazed at the boys!

Laugh Out Loud!

Joachim's reacting and laughing out loud to Tabby. He's so good with him! =)

Christmas in Baguio =)

i accidentally deleted the album, so i had to repost it... sigh... i think i added some photos and removed some... not sure anymore, but... here it is =) joachim's first christmas and our first trip to baguio as a family! =) we stayed at the house of tita cynthia in john hay and it was beautiful! super cold, too! the kids loved the horses at wright park, mini golf inside john hay and the view at mines view park. next time we go, we'll go to burnham park and maybe go on the boats and/or ride the bicycles! =)

coffee with ty =)

well... with ty's parents and some friends hehe

New Year's at Highlands 2008