my hubby

when tabby and i were newly married and expecting micael, ate (bunny) asked tabby something that's stuck to both of us until now.  she asked him:  'if the doctor comes out of the delivery room and says that there's a problem and she can only save one, who would you tell her to save?  nanny or micael?'  tabby thought long and hard and came up with 'micael. because he's a new life. kawawa naman. he should be given a chance to live.'  ate's response was:  'it sounds cold and harsh, but the church says that you should have them save your wife.  there is nothing more important than your spouse - not children, not in laws, not siblings, not parents.  you can always have more children, but you might not find another spouse again.'

and we remember that. i think that's why we're so ok... i have never doubted him - in the 6 years we've been married, there have been times when, if i were the type to be selosa, wow... i would have been all over the place.  but because he reminds me every day that i'm his only one, that i'm his love, i have no fear. 

even after 4 kids, i can honestly say that we're still more husband and wife than we are parents. in some ways, i think that it makes us better parents.  we're able to be there for the kids because we have no doubts about each other.

don't get me wrong - i'm not saying we don't fight.  we do, but we don't scream at each other.  there are tampuhans, of course, but i think it's possible for us to argue and discuss things precisely because we're so solid.

why am i writing about this?  wala lang - i was just reflecting on how lucky i am with him and thanking God for tabby... i just felt the urge to share =)  

Joachim at 5 months =)

what to do...

i've figured out why my milk supply dipped... it was because i kept forgetting to take the motilium!  that's one of the side effects when you stop taking it - your milk supply dips...  it took a while for me to figure out what the problem was, but when i did, i became more conscious of taking motilium and i'm taking natalac twice a day na.  i had stopped taking it because i thought that the motilium would suffice...

my guess is that it's like this:  motilium will facilitate multiple let downs and natalac will help with producing the milk.  am i making sense?  so now, i'm taking 2 natalacs 2x a day and 1 motilium 3x a day.   and it's working!  i'm happy to say that my milk supply is back to normal

but now... i need to have a ct urogram for my kidneys. (i have kidney stones.)  but they'll be giving me something via iv that may not be safe for lactating mothers.  their protocol is to tell the mother to stop breastfeeding for 2-3 days.  so... i refused to have it done.  but my urologist said that he really needs that test done.  so he suggested i just pump and store milk (enough for 3 days) and then have the test done and then feed joachim via bottle (expressed breastmilk) for 3 days while i pump and throw away the contaminated milk. then i can go back to feeding him directly. 

BUT... i'm not sure that that's a good idea for me.  i feel like my body will give up making milk if i'm not feeding him directly.  it doesn't matter how great or efficient your breast pump is.  it's still no match for your baby drinking directly from you.

so... i'm torn.  i know i have to take care of myself (by getting my kidneys fixed) and i have to be ok so that i can take care of my family, but at the same time, if i do that, i'll be compromising my providing milk for joachim.  what to do?  what to do? 

Kids' point of view

all of the pictures here were taken by the kids =)