supplementing

i have to supplement my milk supply... i started today. the twins now need more than 3 ounces of milk. they need maybe 4 or 5 ounces each. and i produce maybe 6 ounces, total. so one of them doesn't get full. so i now acknowledge that i have to supplement. in a way, this is good... i get more freedom of movement with this. and my nipples will get the chance to heal (they're cracked because the twins bite). i know that, nutritionally speaking, formula can deliver the same as my milk. it's just the cuddling i'm going to miss. i know that this is not a reflection of my "mothering," but just the same, i feel... inadequate because of it. oh well... i'll survive. more importantly, the twins will.

oh joy!

micael let me put him to sleep yesterday... actually preferring me to my hubby or the alternate yaya (his real yaya was on day off)! my heart smiled. he's so precious. he would watch me through sleepy eyes, especially when one of the twins would cry. i guess to see if i would put him down and go to them. so i stayed with him. even if it meant that the feeding of gabe or rafa was delayed. he needs to know that he's important too. i love him so...

my hubby moves my world. i love him so much, it's crazy. he kept asking me a few days ago if i still loved him, maybe because my family are starting to make noises about my going back to work. they say i shouldn't have to work because i'm the woman in the relationship. and therefore, i should be pampered and relaxing. not stressed by work and all that. at the very most, i should only worry about the kids and the house... well, maybe in a perfect world that would be true. but this is the real world, and i'm a working mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend. so i just make do with what i have. not everyone has the life of the idle... how nice if i was one of those, but... maybe someday! i'm hopeful and working hard to bring that day closer.

dance, dance!

micael is such a cutie!! he knows how to dance! it's that cute, baby dance where they kinda bounce... and no one taught him how to do this... he just did it on his own! it's amazing because he even does his 'beautiful eyes' while dancing! he's so cute! nakakagigil!

after that, i tried to get him to do the 'thumbs up'... and i got bitten on my thumb! if his expression wasn't so endearing while he was doing it, i would have gotten mad at him! but... like i said, his face was so sweet and... well, suffice it to say i laughed and just gritted my teeth. man, he has SHARP teeth! and he's so strong! he's growing up so fast... pretty soon, i'll be seeing him off on a date... oh my...

gabe and rafa are starting to look like mica did at that age (one month). when i see mica's old pictures, it looks like i just took a picture of gabe or rafa! amazing how they look so similar!

i am constantly amazed that these three boys came from me. that i carried them in my body for more than 8 months and now, they're so big! mica's running around and the twins are starting to regulate their sleeping and eating pattern. how fast time flies... i'm at that point where i'm wishing they're older so i can talk and play with them and they'd understand me and talk back and at the same time, i'm wishing time would slow down so i can savor these days more.

just the other day, i had to carry micael and i had to use the sling! i remember when i could carry him all day and not break a sweat. and i'd even scoff when my sisters and brothers when they complain that he's too heavy for them to carry. it's so different now. he really is heavy. (29 pounds!)

pretty soon, he'll be too heavy to carry... so i'm going to enjoy these days. and i'm going to keep carrying him, as much as he'll allow, so that i don't miss out. i don't want to look back and regret not carrying him and holding him close.

micael and i went to gymboree today! and he totally enjoyed himself... he's such a lovey... my baby. he was running around, sometimes with the other kids, sometimes by himself, listening to the teacher lead the songs and sometimes even following her instructions! he helped push the big inflatable log across the room, and the ball that was bigger than him across the bridge! he even tried to jump on the trampoline!

he loves having other kids around, so it'll be such a treat for him when the twins are bigger and walking also. as it is, with the twins being so small, he's such a sweetie when he kisses them and tries to carry them. micael's the cutest!