hours...

i remember crying and feeling like a terrible mother when micael was about 2 years old and the twins were about 1 year old because they seemed to want the yayas more.  in fact, i couldn't put them to sleep - they refused! they associated me with play and so when i was around, no matter what time it was, it was play time... in the end, my yayas would gently ask me to leave the room so that they can put the boys to sleep because they were getting cranky from being super sleepy! 

i remember my brother-in-law, joey, consoling me by telling me that no matter what, i will always be their mother! yayas come and go, but mothers will always be there!  and it made me feel better...

i've been thinking about how different joachim is from his brothers (at this age - 13months) - in terms of how he responds to me... he wants me more than he wants any of the yayas (his or his brothers').  he prefers that i carry him and that i'm the one that puts him to sleep... either me or tabby.  i think it's because he sleeps with us until now, whereas mica was moved into his own room at 4 months and the twins were moved out at maybe 3 or 4 months as well...  it was necessary to move them out so early because i was working in a call center then and my hours were erratic, so to make things easier for the boys, we put them in another room.

now, i work for my mom, so things are more relaxed (work-wise)... i've been on maternity leave for about a year now, although i still don't report for work in the office, my mom has me do stuff at home na lang.

i'm amazed that it makes such a difference in the attitudes of the kids that i'm around.  they take it for granted that i'll be home and that i'm available to them at any time.  i love it!  i realize that i wasn't like this before - i would be around, obviously, but not with the same consistency and in the sheer quantity of hours that i'm around now! 

it's a blessing that i have this and i'm thankful everyday for it!  i don't know how the boys will react to when i have to go back to the office everyday, but i think that they'll be ok... i'm just glad that i'm getting to lay this foundation for joachim and that i have this time "on deposit" for mica, gabe and rafa Ü

Joachim at 12 months =)

Joachim's first steps!! =)