what to do...

i've figured out why my milk supply dipped... it was because i kept forgetting to take the motilium!  that's one of the side effects when you stop taking it - your milk supply dips...  it took a while for me to figure out what the problem was, but when i did, i became more conscious of taking motilium and i'm taking natalac twice a day na.  i had stopped taking it because i thought that the motilium would suffice...

my guess is that it's like this:  motilium will facilitate multiple let downs and natalac will help with producing the milk.  am i making sense?  so now, i'm taking 2 natalacs 2x a day and 1 motilium 3x a day.   and it's working!  i'm happy to say that my milk supply is back to normal

but now... i need to have a ct urogram for my kidneys. (i have kidney stones.)  but they'll be giving me something via iv that may not be safe for lactating mothers.  their protocol is to tell the mother to stop breastfeeding for 2-3 days.  so... i refused to have it done.  but my urologist said that he really needs that test done.  so he suggested i just pump and store milk (enough for 3 days) and then have the test done and then feed joachim via bottle (expressed breastmilk) for 3 days while i pump and throw away the contaminated milk. then i can go back to feeding him directly. 

BUT... i'm not sure that that's a good idea for me.  i feel like my body will give up making milk if i'm not feeding him directly.  it doesn't matter how great or efficient your breast pump is.  it's still no match for your baby drinking directly from you.

so... i'm torn.  i know i have to take care of myself (by getting my kidneys fixed) and i have to be ok so that i can take care of my family, but at the same time, if i do that, i'll be compromising my providing milk for joachim.  what to do?  what to do?