a question of trust

let me just say this at the outset: i know that my current yayas are not hurting my children.  my question is; how would you know when your child is being looked after properly by the yaya you've hired?   i mean, really... how would you know?  would your child tell you?  what if they think that you know what the yaya is doing and that, since you aren't stopping it, you are in agreement with it?  what if, when you're around, your yaya is nice and obedient, but when you leave or your back is turned, she's pinching your kid?  short of putting in video cameras and microphones in every room in the house to spy on them, what is the next best thing? 

i'm being very vigilant with my yayas.  i've had some yayas who were hurting my boys before.  this was when the boys were younger and they weren't talking yet.  my current yayas know that if i catch them or if i hear one just one incident of them hitting or hurting my boys, i will fire them without hesitation.  and they assure me that they aren't the type to hurt children.  "hindi sila nananakit" is what they say.  i believe them.  i have to...

but, here's the kicker - what if they aren't physically hurting your child, but emotionally scarring them?  telling them that they're stupid or making them feel like they're not wanted?  beating them down emotionally by telling them that they're "leave-able" - the yaya won't stay because they're not good boys (or girls)?

i'm so concerned that i talk to my yayas individually about this. i'm very quick to stop that sort of thing - the soft comments they make that are meant only for the ears of their alaga is exactly what i listen for.  thank God that my yayas aren't used to making these comments (either that or they're very good at hiding it!), so i'm not having a hard time with this. 

we have to trust our yayas... because we have to work... not everyone has the luxury of staying home and just caring for the children.  i'm sure that that's the ideal, but in the world of today, a lot of moms have to go out and work. 

i got to thinking about this because rafa couldn't sleep... i don't know if it's because his yaya is "madaldal" (according to the other 2 yayas, she badgers him "dapat matulog ka na! yan kasi ice cream ng ice cream, etc." - how can he sleep if she doesn't shut up?) or because he's just not sleepy.  but they know that we're watching them very closely, so i don't think his yaya is doing anything, but the fear is there...

after talking it out, over, sideways and under, and scaring ourselves with nightmare scenarios, tabby and i have come back to what we've decided before - we have to trust our yayas... and pray really hard! =)